Whittier Place Blog

Grief vs Depression in Seniors: What Families Should Know

Written by Whittier | May 9, 2025 4:00:00 AM

According to an article in Age and Ageing, nearly 71% of adults over 65 have experienced at least one bereavement in the past 2.5 years. Yet many families struggle to distinguish between normal grief and clinical depression in their aging loved ones.

Understanding the nuances of grief vs depression is essential for caregivers aiming to provide appropriate emotional and cognitive assistance to seniors.

Today, we're taking a closer look at how to recognize the differences between grief and depression in older adults in Whittier, CA, a historic city in Los Angeles County, known for its rich Quaker heritage, tree-lined neighborhoods, and proximity to downtown Los Angeles.

Understanding Grief in Older Adults

Grief is a natural reaction to loss, and it affects many older adults as they age. Some may lose a spouse or lifelong friend. Others may grieve the loss of their independence, health, or sense of purpose.

There are three main ways grief often appears in older adults:

  • Emotional shifts that come and go
  • Changes in behavior or daily routine
  • Ongoing thoughts about the person or life they lost

Emotional Shifts That Come and Go

Grief can cause deep sadness, but that sadness may lift and return in waves. Seniors might feel numb one day and cry the next.

They could talk openly about their feelings or become quiet and thoughtful. This range is common.

Feeling better for a while doesn't mean they've forgotten. It means their emotions are adjusting to the loss.

Changes in Behavior or Daily Routine

Some seniors may eat less, sleep more, or avoid activities they used to enjoy. These changes often come from feeling overwhelmed or tired.

They may decline invitations or skip meals, but still show interest in some parts of their day. This can help separate grief from depression, which tends to remove all interest or energy.

Ongoing Thoughts About the Person or Life They Lost

Many older adults replay memories or talk about the past. This reflection can be healing. It allows them to process what they've lost and hold on to meaning.

They might keep a loved one's photo nearby or visit familiar places to feel connected. While this behavior is common in grief, it usually doesn't block them from connecting with others or moving forward.

Aging and Behavior Changes: Recognizing Depression

Depression in older adults can sometimes look like grief, but it usually has a different pattern and effect. This condition can show up in small changes at first.

There are three clear signs of depression in seniors that families should watch for:

  • Loss of interest in daily life
  • Physical and emotional changes
  • Trouble thinking or making decisions

Loss of Interest in Daily Life

Seniors with depression may stop enjoying things they used to love. They might no longer care about hobbies, favorite foods, or social time.

Even a walk outside or a phone call can feel like too much. This loss of interest tends to last for weeks or longer and doesn't come and go like grief sometimes does.

Physical and Emotional Changes

Depression can affect how a person feels both inside and out. Some people eat less or sleep all day. Others have trouble falling asleep or feel restless all the time.

Feelings of guilt, emptiness, or sadness may not be linked to any clear loss. Instead of sharing memories or expressing emotions, many people with depression shut down.

Trouble Thinking or Making Decisions

Cognitive wellness can suffer when depression is untreated. Some seniors may seem confused, forgetful, or unsure of themselves.

They might struggle with tasks that once came easily. This can cause concern about memory care awareness, especially if the person seems withdrawn or disoriented.

Grief vs Depression: Why the Difference Matters

Grief can feel heavy, but the sadness tends to lift now and then. A person may smile during a story or feel peace during a quiet moment.

These signs show that they're still moving through their emotions. Depression tends to stay the same each day.

There's often no break or shift. The person may seem shut down or feel like nothing will get better.

Families who see grief and think it's depression may push for treatment that isn't needed. Those who miss depression and call it grief might wait too long to speak with a doctor.

Both issues are real and deserve care, but they aren't the same. Support should match what the person is feeling and what they need.

Older adults with untreated depression may face problems with thinking, focus, or memory. These issues can look like early signs of dementia.

That's why memory care awareness is so helpful during this time. Depression can also make it harder to stay active, eat well, or stay connected. All of this affects long-term cognitive wellness.

How Grief Can Turn into Depression

Grief can last a long time, but most people start to feel some lightness again, even if just for a moment. If weeks turn into months without any sign of peace, that may signal depression. The person might stop looking forward to anything, and their energy may stay low every day.

Lack of Hope or Self-Worth

Depression can lead to more than sadness. It often comes with thoughts like "nothing matters" or "I'm a burden."

These thoughts may not have anything to do with the person who was lost. Instead, they're signs that the person is losing their sense of purpose and self-worth.

Thoughts of Death That Go Beyond the Loss

Grief sometimes includes wishing to see a loved one again or missing them deeply. But if someone talks about not wanting to live, or shows signs of pulling away from life, that goes beyond normal grief. These thoughts can be quiet, but they should always be taken seriously.

Senior Mental Health: Emotional Support

Knowing the difference between grief vs depression helps families respond with care and confidence.

At Discovery Commons Whittier, we offer the comfort of small-town life with easy access to Los Angeles, just 30 minutes away. Our assisted living and memory care options are designed to support you as you age. With 24/7 caregivers, we're here whenever you need us.

Get in touch today to find out how we can help with your loved one's retirement years.